When Life Stops

Hey yall,
I know this is supposed to be a fun little blog about homesteading and farming and all the crazy going on's of the Webb bunch and I know I haven't been keeping it updated like I wanted to. Now I'm a pretty private person when it comes to me and what's going on in my family but I decided to let yall in on whats going on with me and why my life is falling apart and why I cant keep up with my blog right now or anything else for that matter. Yall remember my Migraine Hell post I did a while back well that Migraine Hell had multiplied by 1000. I now have chronic migraines almost every day along with a very sore and achy neck that hurts almost as bad. I am in almost constant pain 24/7 now and let me tell you it is waying on me like nothing I have ever experienced in my life before. It takes every stong will inside of me to get up and go to work every day and hold it together for that 8 hours and pretend that I am not hurting so bad that I can not stand it. I now know a  person is not made to handle constant pain every day and some days I feel like I can't handle it anymore. But somehow I do. I have been to my family doctor who has me on 125 miligram of Topamax daily (this is a drug that is supposed to prevent migraines from happening) so far it is not working at all. She wants me to slowly up it to 200 miligrams daily but I can't tolerate it because the meds make me so out of it I can't concentrate at work. I can't remember things or form my words right. Topamax is actually a siezure medication and it affects your brain so you can see why I can't really see myself taking 200 miligrams a day. She also has me on Maxault which is a Migraine medication to take when I get a migraine that is supposed to make the migraine go away this medication also does not help me. So far everything she has given me has not worked at all. Now, I have had migraines before, all my life actually but never anything like I am experiencing right now. Usually I would have 1 or 2 a month take a Relpax ( the migraine medicine I used to take before it stopped working) and it would be gone the next day no problem. I have been dealing with these chronic migraines with neck pain since June. I can't get in to see a Neurologist until December so in the meantime I am not going to sit around and wait. I went to a Neurosurgeon to have him look at my neck in the hopes of having a neck problem. Thinking maybe that could be the problem he ordered an MRI I had that done yesterday. It's gotten so bad that I pray they find something wrong with my neck so I can find an answer. I'm having my horomones tested. I had a hysterectomy in March my headaches started in June you never know it could be related. I'm starting a vitamin regimin my friend recommened maybe my body is lacking something. It could be a million things but just sitting around taking all these meds is not working for me so I am going to keep trying things in the hopes that something.....anything...will give me my life back. I go to work I come home I go to bed and cry myself to sleep that is my life that is why I havent been on my blog or my facebook or my twitter or anything for that matter I have no life right now. So if your the praying kind or the good vibes kind or the dance around the fire naked kind if you wouldnt mind maybe you could send one up for me that I would get an answer and some relief soon.

Until Next Time
XOXO
Michelle